The Eardrum Capers*

Arkansan Medical Care is just slightly short of ridiculous. Here is what I have been through the last week.

Last Wednesday at my OBGYN appointment I ask my doctor if ear aches are normal for a pregnant woman. He says yes and to take Sudafed and Tylenol until I feel better. I leave, trusting his judgement. Thus, I do not visit the Emergency Room when the pain gets to the unbearable point. I feel like a hypochondriac, plus I had a friend visiting I needed to get from the airport, so we skipped the ER.

On Friday I could take it no longer and went to an InstaCare clinic. After being diagnosed with an inner ear infection by the doctor at InstaCare I was given a prescription for an antibiotic and sent on my way. Later that day, blood began pouring from my ear. Nate scared me enough to get me to the Emergency Room (“what if you never hear again?”) and so off we went.

Dr. Tutt, who saw us in the ER, told me I had ruptured my ear drum and that it would take 5-7 days to heal. He prescribed me some Vicodin, which is exactly two molecules different than cocaine, woo hoo!, and sent us on our way.

Saturday was spent in a cocaine induced haze of delicious flowers and happy dancing fuzzy animals.

Sunday the pain started getting bad enough that the Vicodin didn’t last as long as it needed to. I started taking 2 pills instead of 1. It was getting bad. I no longer had blood draining from my ear (instead there was a clear liquid), but I also could no longer hear anything from it. Sunday night was spent writhing in agony as Nate tried to sleep.

Five days from the original infection (meaning: I am supposed to be better.) Monday was terrible. Monday I called everyone I could think of, trying to find a doctor who could help. No one could see me until Thursday. My mom and grandma advised me to use heat. I had been using heat to no avail. So on Monday night Nate took me back to the ER and we shelled out another $100 copay.

This time I was diagnosed with an OUTER ear infection. Dr Holland put an ear wick in my ear to help medicine get to all parts of it, prescribed me with ear drops and 10 pain pills. He said I would be better in two days.

Tuesday nothing was helping. In fact, my face had started to swell up and so had my neck. I still couldn’t hear, and on top of everything, I was out of pain pills. Again we called everyone in the known universe pleading for pain medication. No one would help. “Nobody’s listening to you, Cokehead.” So last night I spent sobbing and screaming and trying to sleep through the agony. This is the worst pain I have ever felt in my entire life, bar none. I have been through a lot, and this is incredible. I am so ready for labor after this. Nothing compares.

Today we were able to get into another clinic. By the grace of God, I was seen again by Dr Holland (my ER doc on Monday.) So he knew I was not faking. He told me I was having an allergic reaction to the ear drops, but that I could also have a yeast infection in my ear. He prescribed me with new ear drops. If I am not better by Friday on them, I need to take an anti-yeast medicine. If I am not better by Monday on that, I need to go to a specialist. He gave me more, blessedly stronger pain pills. I love Vicodin.

And now, here I am. It has been a week since the pain began. Finally I am seeing light at the end of the tunnel. Let us recap how it has gone, shall we? Summary:

Pregnancy leads to > morning sickness which leads to > excessive vomiting > sinus pressure buildup > inner ear infection > ruptured ear drum > draining liquid gets into small cut on outside of ear > outer ear infection > swelling of ear, neck, and head > allergic reaction to medication > possible yeast infection > who knows? > possible permanent hearing loss > death.

Holy crap. Here’s to hoping I am cured by Monday. Also, we find out what gender the baby is on Friday. Anyone care to leave their guess?

*Please excuse any typos or bad grammar issues in this post as I am on a very strong dose of Vicodin at the moment. I cannot be held responsible for my loopiness.